Friday, July 17, 2009
notes from a Friday
- I have officially reached the age where I no longer get carded for booze. That blows.
- After not painting my nails for... a year (maybe?), I painted them today and they look whore-y (this could be a result of the red sparkly polish I chose).
- I found a ladybug today that was black with red spots - my kid named it Emo Ladybug.
- For the first time in my life, my contact lens prescription got lower - if this trend continues, I will have perfect vision by the time I'm 238 years old.
- We'll be spending the weekend in beautiful Oxnard, CA for a basketball tournament - we're staying there one night and I've packed enough food as though we were going camping for a month in the desert- apparently, I think Oxnard (2 hours South of us) doesn't have grocery stores.
- When I planted my little herb garden, I put in mint out of habit, but have never had a use for it - today, I decided to make Mojitos because I like saying "Mojito". Too bad I have no ice in the house.
Labels: adventures in shitty parenting
Thursday, July 09, 2009
It appears that the sole breadwinner in our house will survive this round of layoffs - YAY -In my BAWWWWW-ing of my last post, I neglected to post one story from my accidentally strenuous nature hike the other day.
My kid and I find the route that we wanted to take and start tromping through the lovely green forest. Over the first hill, we come to a clearing and realize that *gasp* we're less than 10 feet from a whole flock* of deer. All of us freeze.
There's a stupidly cute little baby deer, all huge ears and white spots, munching on a plant right to the left of us. As I'm fawning over the fawn and reaching for my camera, I realize that the fawn is alone on that side of the trail. This means that its mother must be on the left side of the trail.
Sure enough, Doe a deer, a female deer steps from the left side of the trail onto the trail and is facing us. Then she takes a couple steps towards us.
We're still between her and her bebe and just days before, I'd stumbled upon an article about a mommy deer who had kicked a dog's ass because it got too close to her baby deer.
Now, I'm thinking that I may not be able to outrun her, but I'm pretty sure that I could take her since she's all skinny legs and inferior intellect, right? But in the back of my mind, I'm just thinking that I'm going to have to write a blog post about getting my ass kicked by Bambi.
She takes a couple more steps towards us and I push my kid behind me.
She takes a couple more steps and I consider pushing my kid back in front of me.
Then my kid tosses out a piece of the Pirate's Booty he's eating towards her. She leans down, sniffs it, picks it up, eats it and looks at him for more. He tosses her a couple more which she eats. Her baby finishes whatever it's eating, then they all skip off into the forest. And we survive to tell the tale of the possibly homicidal deer.
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Also, isn't social networking weird? I've already blogged about my dislike for it, but isn't it weird? Within the past 2 days, 3 friends have "found" me on Facebook - there's the initial OMGI'MSOEXCITEDTOHEARFROMYOULET'STOTALLYCATCHUP, then ten minutes later we go back to ignoring each other like we have been for the last 4 - 15 years. Weird, right?
Or is it perfect for someone like myself who happens to be socially retarded and generally more comfortable with passive relationships like that?
*yes, I know it's not flock, I'm not a complete troglodyte
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
a couple summer tips from me to you
For the first time in 11 or so years, I live in a place where walking outside during the summer months doesn't make me want to kill myself. So I've been spending a bit of time outside - hiking, gardening, walking, tennis-ing - all kinds of shit. So I'm somewhat of an expert on this stuff now, I thought I'd share some tips -1) While it's a good thing to remember to bring sunscreen when venturing out, it turns out to not be effective unless it's actually applied to your pasty-ass skin. (Who knew?)
2) When you go to a national park and the ranger gives you a map with all of the trails, it's best to read all the information on the map - ie: how advanced the hike is, how long the hike is - instead of piking hikes with cute names. Especially if you're NOT A FREAKING OLYMPIC ATHLETE.
2a) you know you're on the wrong level of trail when there's a vulture circling your wheezing, pink-faced self for the entire second half of your "strenuous" hike. And when your ridiculously athletic child keeps stopping begging you to turn back.
also, we find out within the next week or so (possibly tomorrow) whether or not there will be layoffs at the husband's work. this is decidedly not awesome hopefully they have wifi at the local homeless shelter.