Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Have you signed the barrel waiver, Chuckles?

It's a widely acknowledged fact that Julie's mom (okay, she's mine, too if you want to split hairs) is nuttier than a... nuttier than.... well, nuttier than a can of mixed nuts (sorry, people, they're not all gems) - it is not unusual for a phone conversation with her resemble the following:

phone: "ring... ring"
me (thinking: crap, caller id says it's my mom): "hello?"
her: "So what did you think about that?"
me: "huh?"
her: "what did you think about that? Pretty wild, don't you think?"
me: "Um, what?"
her (sounding exasperated): That email that I sent you last Tuesday."
me: "Uh, which one?"
her (souding more exasperated): "Remember the forwarded one about exploding gel candles?"

So I was not necessarily surprised when she called me the other night and her first words to me are: "Do you use a barrel waiver?"
A what?
"A barrel waiver," she repeats.
I'm thinking that it sounds like something that a rodeo clown needs to sign before getting into the ring. "What the hell is a barrel waiver?"
She does that exasperated Mom sigh before saying, "A triple barrel curling iron, you know, for your hair."
Of course, in most cultures a triple barrel curling iron is referred to simply as a barrel waver... like in Alzheimer-sylvania

posted by Veruca Salt at 7:13 AM |

4 comment(s):

  • I don't think you need it with your lovely wavy hair, but it's something akin to a medevil torture device that allegedly gives your hair deep waves (go here to see what they look like http://shop.store.yahoo.com/kitchenhome/cosbtrbacuir.html) - and it works if your hair is superlong, because you end up with beautiful mermaid waves - since my hair is barely below my shoulder, it ends up looking like cocker spaniel ears - I failed to mention this part to my mom, whose hair is barely chin length - I'm a mean, mean girl

    By Blogger Veruca Salt, at 7:41 AM  

  • You're so lucky to live near her...it's so nice that she calls you so often...

    Here's a conversation between she and I:

    phone: ring ring...
    me: crap, it's mom... *silent*
    phone: busy tone given
    me: yay!

    By Blogger Jootastic, at 8:17 AM  

  • I have a friend who invested in one of those...bad news for me cuz the thing was so damn hard to use, anytime she wanted those beautiful wavy curls, I was the one laboring over her hair for what seemed like days!

    My mom calls and plays the sneak attack with me.
    What are you doing?
    Why? (immediately on the defensive)
    Can't I call and ask what you're doing?
    No, that usually means you want me to do something for or with you, I refuse to answer the question before I know what you want.
    So what are you doing?
    What are YOU doing?
    you get the idea...ugh Mothers.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:50 AM  

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    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:24 PM  

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