Wednesday, October 12, 2005

So I'm watching "Nip/Tuck"* last night and seeing people getting nipped and tucked and pulled and filled and it always reminds me of this frou frou mall in Scottsdale, AZ where my last job was located** where you couldn't swing a dead cat*** without hitting a pair of fake wazongas or some cheek implants.

While some of the fakeness is implanted into the shriveled bodies of senior citizens, most of it is in the bodies of young girls, girls who are at or near childbearing age. I've always felt sorry for the future children of these women - imagine you're a little girl (being raised, of course, by your underpaid Latin nanny) and when you see your mother, you see the ideal woman, blonde hair, little waist, big boobs, full lips and a cute button nose. Everyone thinks your mom's a hottie, people on the street stop to stare at her, she's practically a rockstar, you think you've hit the genetic lottery, you're pretty much guaranteed hotness, right?

Yeah, right, then you reach puberty and you look like a gargoyle; big nose, no boobs, bad skin, dark hair. How much would that suck?


* also known as "THE BEST FUCKING SHOW ON TELEVISION"

** I didn't work *in* the mall - the office where I worked was on the third story of one of the buildings in the shopping center

*** and the award for the WORST PHRASE EVER goes to...