Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Really?

Dickhead California Highway Patrol Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over today?

Me: (Because I was going 20mph in a 15mph school zone? In my defense, the sign said 15 when children are present and there were no children present) *confused smile and shrug*

D-CHiP: You failed to stop at the stop sign at Royal Oak

Me: *even more confused because I totally DID stop there, I remember specifically because I had just seen a cute house for rent and when I stopped, I made a mental note of the street name so I could remember* Uh... really?

D-CHiP: And your windows are illegally tinted

Me: *looking around my vehicle to see if my cluttered Honda Element (with FACTORY FUCKING TINT ON THE FUCKING WINDOWS) has been magically transformed into some limo-tinted '67 Impala that smells like marijuana* Uh... really?

I hand over my license and registration.

D-CHiP: I'm going to let you off with a warning for failure to stop, but I'm going to write you a [some name I don't remember for a Fix-It ticket]

Me: Really? I mean, really?

D-CHiP: This tinting is illegal. In the state of California, you are not allowed anything more than a clear UV coating.

Me: But... This is factory tint. And when I got my car registered, the DMV didn't say anything about it.

D-CHiP: Did you actually take the vehicle in to the DMV?

Me: (REALLY???) Uh.... yeah. I brought the car from out of state, so I had to take it in for inspection.

D-CHiP: *thinks for a moment* Those inspections are more for the VIN numbers

Me: *watching EVERY SINGLE OTHER VEHICLE ON THE ROAD whiz past with windows tinted infinitely darker than mine* Um... really?

D-CHiP repeats that he's not giving me a ticket for the *alleged* failure to stop and takes my paperwork back to his car.

So, Officer 70s-Porn-Mustache takes something like a fucking hour fifteen minutes to write up the lamest fix-it ticket EVER and tells me I have remove the offending tint from the driver and passenger side windows and to go to fucking court for it.

COURT!

Here's my issue - if I actually did run a stop sign (WHICH, AGAIN, I TOTALLY DIDN'T) isn't that slightly more of a danger to the public (ESPECIALLY IN A SCHOOL ZONE) than the factory fucking tint on my windows that don't even really keep it cool?

Also - in everything I find online, it states that the California law is that the window must be at least 70% clear. I can't find anything that says it can't be anything but clear. Even the DMV websites says 70%.

Fuck tha poe-leece. (not really, just that guy)