Friday, January 07, 2005

¿usted tiene leche de la cabra?

Let's talk about goat's milk for a moment - I've heard for so long that it's supposed to be sooooo healthy for you, and really good for people who can't digest cow milk (I'm sporadically lactose intolerant and it sucks). Then I heard that Gwen Stefani drinks it exclusively and I decided that if Gwen Stefani drinks it and looks like that (her wacky fashion "sense" not withstanding) I would go and get me some of that milk. Three stores later (that stuff is hard to find), I had my terribly expensive goat excretions (I guess it makes sense, goats are way smaller than cows, it must take 50 of them to make a half gallon).

I get it home and snap open the container, excited to start my new healthy life. I take a sniff ("always smell it first" is a good rule for every new venture) and it smells like milk. When I pour it into a cup it's a regular milky color so I tip it back and take a nice big swig.

OH.
MY.
CRAP.

I've never wondered what a goat's belly would taste like if I licked it, but, at that moment, I knew. Seriously, it was like drinking a cup of petting zoo. Baaaaad is an understatement.

But I couldn't get myself to throw it away, I wondered if I could drink it in my coffee and still benefit from all of it's... benefits. That was like a vente goat-a-ccino.

And still, I didn't throw it away. Why? Was I expecting to grow into the taste of goat ass? Was I expecting a parched Gwen Stefani to stop by the house? Did I think that maybe I would find a herd of thirsty baby goats wandering the streets of Phoenix?

Finally, after close to a month, I admitted defeat and tossed it, vowing to never again partake in the drippings of the beast. Today at work, a friend gave me a caramel candy from Mexico, halfway through it I happen to look at the ingredients - first ingredient? You guessed it - leche de cabra - mmmm, leche de cabra (actually, it's not so bad in the candy... or maybe I'm still sick and just can't taste the goatiness)

And by the way, no, there was no point to this post - sometimes I just type for the sake of the sound it makes

posted by Veruca Salt at 9:37 AM |

8 comment(s):

  • if you hadn't noticed...most of my posts are there just cuz i like the sound of typing.... tippity tackity...tippity.... click click click.... i wish i could spell the sounds...that would be sooooooo cool.

    By Blogger Jootastic, at 10:16 AM  

  • Try Almond milk. It's very yummy.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:51 AM  

  • hahahahahaha!!! too damn funny. must blogroll you.

    franci (from 'wash my mouth out with soap')

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:05 AM  

  • MMMM goat teats

    By Blogger Erin M, at 11:12 AM  

  • I'm so with our kitten friend on the cheese. Mmmm. Cheeeeeese.

    And this is the part where we get to the semi-relavent-but-not-really part of my comment. My great grandmother... I shit you not.... raised goats and sold the milk. Lactose intolerants of the world unite! They came from miles around! But goat hamburger? Damn good stuff, swear to god. And milk-feeding little baby goats using those old glass soda bottles with rubber nipples on the end? Priceless. AND... I just said nipples. Heeeeee!

    By Blogger asyl076, at 1:13 PM  

  • not to expand on that, and get further off the subject, but I used the word "areola" the other day in lunchtime conversation

    By Blogger Veruca Salt, at 1:18 PM  

  • I laughed at loud at "cup of petting zoo." Thank you for making me sure that I will never try goat's milk, ever.

    By Blogger thehotlibrarian, at 1:26 PM  

  • I laughed out loud at "a cup of petting zoo" too. And I think I might suggest that as a team name at my next pub quiz.

    By Blogger Michael, at 7:32 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home