Sunday, January 28, 2007

Dear Eddie Murphy,

I think we can all agree that you did some funny shit in the 80s - "Saturday Night Live", "Beverly Hills Cop", "Trading Places", "48 Hours", hell, I'll even give you "The Golden Child" because that "I-I-I-I-I want the kniiiife" thing is still funny.

But right about the time you decided that you had to play at least four characters in every movie (IMDB pinpoints this as 1988's "Coming to America") something changed.

And by "something changed" I mean "you stopped being so funny".

It's suddenly less about the humor and more about fat suits and fart jokes... and, don't get me wrong here, I like fat suits and fart jokes as much as the next girl, but overkill is overkill.

You've made a couple of decent decisions recently, probably in spite of yourself - "Shrek", "Shrek 2", and I've heard good stuff about "Dreamgirls" (although I'll never see it because musicals give me hives), but... "Norbit"? Are you fucking kidding me? You play a nerdy version of yourself AND your fat wife AND some character named Mr. Wong? Seriously? Who is writing these scripts?* Who is financing these movies?** Who is SEEING these movies?***

Please take a few minutes to consider before you commit to another steaming pile of cine-crap. Seriously, take a couple of years off, sleep with 19-year-olds, sit around and count your money, hell, sit around and count your blessings that this isn't the 70s and you're not relegated to being a judge on "The Gong Show".

Thanks, in advance, for not doing any more of this shit,

me


*Probably the Wayans Brothers
** Probably the Wayans Brothers, too
*** I'm going to go with the Wayans for the hat trick here

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