Thursday, March 08, 2007

putting in notice

I'm leaving Savannah 2 weeks from Saturday and I'm kind of... conflicted about it. I mean, it's a backwards little town, they don't recycle, the movie theaters suck and Civil-War-era racism is alive and well - but it's also got a certain charm - all that fried food, all of those historic buildings... and then there's the derby.


"But there's derby in Corpus Christi," I pointed out to someone at practice last night who asked how I could leave.

"But it's not your derby," he remarked.

Thanks for reminding me.


I've never been involved with something like the derby before - I'm not a sporty kind of girl, I'm not a leadership position kind of girl and I'm not a I-wanna-hang-with-a-big-bunch-of-girls kind of girl... and I've never put this much time and effort into anything in my life, but I can't imagine my life without it. I can't say that it's made me a different person, but I think it's made me more me*.

I didn't tell the derby that I was moving until earlier this week - I told myself that I was holding out because I didn't want to add any more stress to them before our first bout, but it was really more selfish - you know how, when you put in notice at a job, you become a non-entity? You're no longer a person, no longer a part of the team, you're just this nearly vacant chair and no one really talks to you or includes you in stuff anymore.

I wanted to go for as long as I could without that in the derby.

But I've put in my notice and emergency elections have happened and I'm barely an apparition at this point - there was this informal derby function thing tonight and, really, there were two people who even paid attention to me - everyone else kind of spoke through me - I'm not a person they've known for a year who is moving a thousand miles away, I'm a position that was vacated and needed to be filled. I felt like a character in "Our Town" - begging someone to notice me, to acknowledge me. Like, hello, I'm still here, I'm still alive, you can't pilfer my desk looking for spare change and the good stapler yet.

On the upside, being that I'm Invisi-girl now, I can run around topless making all kinds of high-larious mischief... (who am I kidding, I'm a little bummed... this is why I don't form these stupid attachments)



* which could be good or bad, depending on how well you know me