Friday, November 12, 2004

they say that the first step in solving a problem is admitting that you have a problem

well, i've got something to admit

this is painful and i truly hope that none of you decide to exploit my vulnerability, because i'm really opening myself up here

on my resume, i claim to be a "skilled multi-tasker", and i am capable of doing more than one thing at a time; i consistantly have at least 4 internet explorer windows open at once, i can walk and chew gum, i can rub my stomach and pat my head, i can email, blog and IM, i can simmer a sauce and chop veggies, i can play solitaire and write on my precious little ibook, and i can drive, talk on my cell phone, change cds and maintain the speed limit (this one makes me especially proud)

but my problem lies herein - i cannot watch cnn or msnbc or any other news channel for that matter because i can't decide whether to pay attention to the news story or to read the little ticker thing at the bottom - i end us missing out on the greater portion of both - i start out trying to pay attention to the story because i truly care about the plight of toothless raccoons in the appalachians, but then i see something about courtney love zip by on the bottom and i have to put my fingers in my ears and hum while concentrating on the ticker, but they they show something shiny on the screen (ooooh, shiny) and i get all distracted all over again and miss the ticker headline... it's a vicious circle - i'm losing precious minutes of my life and i'm frightfully uninformed - does anyone know of any support group or medication (prescription or otherwise) to help me?

posted by Veruca Salt at 1:03 PM |

10 comment(s):

  • Do not get me started on toothless raccoons in the appalachians - those little bastards.

    National Geographic makes them look all sweet and vulnerable and stuff, but -and this is the God's honest truth- those critters ate my grandmother's house.

    Twice.

    Not so toothless afterall, eh!?

    Cheers

    By Blogger Martin, at 1:47 PM  

  • indeed


    i really just like using that word because i feel snooty and english when i use it and my only dream in life is to be snooty and english - just like madonna

    By Blogger Veruca Salt, at 2:05 PM  

  • What, exactly, about the word 'toothless' (because that's the word we're talking about here, right?) is snooty and English?

    Cheers

    By Blogger Martin, at 3:13 PM  

  • it's amazing that i can confuse people in other countries as well as i can confuse people in the same office as myself... (i meant "indeed" - not "toothless")

    By Blogger Veruca Salt, at 3:17 PM  

  • Indeed.

    Or, as the proverbial Gangsta would put it: Word.

    Cheers

    By Blogger Martin, at 5:30 PM  

  • I don't know if you are a fan of Howard Stern, or if he even broadcasts where you live, but this was a huge deal for his tv show. People were getting too distracted by the bottom line on his show, so he bitched enough to get it removed. When on occasion I'm still awake when Wild On.. comes on, I'm screwed. I've got another hour of watching to see what that little thing says about britney and/or fred durst.

    By Blogger Tim, at 7:10 PM  

  • What's funny is that I feel EXACTLY the same about CNN. I end up giving up on anything that is going on above the ticker thing. Seriously, the anchor could show me his John Thomas and I'd be none the wiser.

    For I am a Protestant, you know.

    angie
    blueshoe

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:29 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger Michael, at 10:10 PM  

  • I think you already have what you need, i.e. TiVo. Record the news program and watch it. Then play it again with no sound and read the ticker. Ta da! That's why they call me the clickmaster. Ok, no one calls me that.

    By Blogger Michael, at 10:12 PM  

  • michael - your idea is indeed grand, but i fear that it would suck up too much of my reality tv watching time just to get those 5 word headlines on the second go around (ie: courtney love is a skank; bill gates is really rich; is cancer cured? not likely)

    but if you'd like, i'll still call you the clickmaster, or clickmeister, or the click-tator

    By Blogger Veruca Salt, at 6:56 AM  

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