Monday, March 28, 2005

How (not) to get ahead in a conservative, Republican company*

1) Be the tallest girl (and second tallest person) in the company, thus making it difficult to go unnoticed

2) Be a total spaz - thus making is even more difficult to go unnoticed

3) Be a total attention whore - not allowing yourself to go unnoticed

4) Dye** your hair hooker-lipstick red*** the day before a congressman comes to visit the office when everyone else in the office is dressed like they're going to church



* alternate title: it's a good thing I have no ambition

** it's just this temporary mousse thing

***also known as not thinking ahead - all I need it to be wearing my nose ring and displaying my milkbags for the outfit to be complete