Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Dear Cosmopolitan (the magazine, not the martini)

Whilest I appreciate your helpful tips and diagrams on blow job techniques and sexual positions, I'd like to thank you for reaching new heights in the annihilation of the self esteem of women - because the airbrushed-into-unrecognizability pictures of actresses and models on the covers aren't nearly enough. Neither are the photospreads of toothpick sized models in expensive clothes that don't actually translate into the real world.

I appreciate you publishing an entire article in the most recent issue - several glossy pages with tips for keeping a man - things like not pooping, farting or flossing your teeth in the same zip code as your man - because - GASP - what if men find out that women aren't just pretty dolls designed strictly for their pleasure? What if men find out that - GASP - we are actually human beings with thoughts and feelings and - GASP - bodily functions?

Thanks, Cosmo, I don't have enough neuroses to deal with already.

p.s. - and I only have a subscription because it was a gift. So don't give me shit about that.

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