Thursday, August 18, 2005

Everybody poops

Of this I am aware - but does everybody have to poop at work? Especially when the toilet is 5 feet from my desk?

Okay, I'm being dramatic - not everybody poops here at work - actually just one person has - but it was about ten minutes ago and it smelled REALLY AWFUL - like Omigod-what-died-in-your-ass Awful- and the worst part is that he doesn't even work here - I mean, he works for the company, but not in this office, he just came in to pick up his check (or it could have been something else, he didn't open his mouth when he spoke, it was like a freaking ventriliquist act) - we didn't have his check here so, instead of going to the job site where the check was waiting for him, he decided to take a big old dump in the toilet that's right across from my desk.

And, because this isn't an office to stand on ceremony, one of the project managers walked down the stairs and almost dropped the papers he was carrying. "Whooooo eeee! What izzat smell?"

"It wasn't me," I said instantly.

"Dang! That'd gag a maggot! He mussa been savin' that up!" He started to retreat up the stairs. "Dang, it's creepin' up the stairs! I dunno how you can survive that"

Of course, my sense of humor stopped evolving in third grade, so talk about poop always makes me giggle - and I couldn't stop giggling - I giggle uncontrollably every time the project manager guy comes down the stairs.

And now - just as the odor was starting to go away - someone else just went in there, and a minute after he shut the door, I heard noises that either indicate he is either "getting a delivery from brown" or he's strangling a duck - my fingers are crossed that it's the duck.