Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Dear Decrepit Old Man Who Came Into My Office And Is Now Using My Phone,

I don't know why you're in my office in the first place, and in an effort to get you the hell out, I said that you could use my phone, but HOLY FUCK, have you ever used a phone before? Seriously, how hard is it to understand my one and only instruction to you of "Dial 9 to get an outside line"? I even tried to make it easier for you by saying "Just dial 9 and then the phone number you're want to call" and still, you're staring at my phone with a look of bewilderment. I know that these newfangled "push button" phones are really confusing, but either make figure it out, or get your greasy self out of my office - it's enough that you've used the bathroom, sampled the bottled water and been loitering in my lobby for five minutes - get a cell phone like a normal person.

GOSH!

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