Wednesday, November 09, 2005

I'll take "Clusterfuck of Stuff" for $500, Alex

• My office smells like a cross between a urinal, a hamster farm* and a bowling alley** - I feel the compulsive need to apologize to everyone who comes in***
• This morning, amidst the condom wrappers and malt liquor bottles in our parking lot (which, I should note, is chainlink-fenced, barb-wired and locked every evening) there was a small pile of raisin-like poo, it looked like either rabbit or goat... or raisins, but that makes almost less sense than livestock.
• Being the slutty blog narcissist that I am, every so often, I Technorati my blog**** in search of validation, most people link me as either "Cate", "Snozzberries", or "John Mayer's future wife" (I wish), but one person had me linked as "Snoozeberries"... geez, guys, I know I may have been a little off lately, but SNOOZEberries? Ouch.
• For a couple of weeks VH-1 has been non-stop pimping out promos for a karaoke show featuring has-been and never-was "celebrities". The title of the show asks the musical question "But Can They Sing?" I caught half of this show the other day and the tone-deaf, completely off-key answer is "No, no they can't. Not at all." And I would be hard-pressed to find a more annoying host than Ahmet Zappa (in VH-1's defense, though, it must have been difficult to find someone less famous than the contestants) But all of this doesn't stop Antonio Sabato Jr. from being so beautiful that it almost hurts to look at him. Yum.

* Assumably from the colony of rats we share the office with

** from the fact that the bitter smoker chick refuses to keep her nicotine to herself

*** everyone who doesn't already smell worse

**** because it's less obvious than masturbating at my desk*****

***** Did I cross a line there?