Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Dear Colgate -

Can we talk about your "Paradise Fresh" flavored "Luminous" toothpaste for a second?

First, your commercials for this product are kind of sad, the cute lady in the commercial asks her husband if her smile looks dull and he kind of makes a face, like "Yeah, yuckmouth, your smile is kind of gross", maybe he could tell her that her ass is big and her sister is prettier than her, too.

Second, sparkly lavender is a disconcerting color for toothpaste - unless it's toothpaste for a My Little Pony - but I don't think they have teeth, and I'm positive that they don't have opposable thumbs, so it would be nearly impossible for them to brush - the fact that they're plastic little toys notwithstanding.

Lastly, "paradise fresh" flavor? WTF is that? It tastes vaguely like a Pepto Bismol smoothie. Is that your version of paradise?

Not sure why I can't just stick with Crest,

C-8


P.S. Blogger's spellchecker thingy suggested I replace "Bismol" with "fishmeal"... um, oookay

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