Friday, October 05, 2007

An open letter to the person who stole my magnetic bumper ribbon:

Seriously?

No, I mean, seriously?

Really?

Honestly?

You stole a magnetic bumper ribbon?

You walked up to the back of my vehicle, decided you liked it and just peeled it off of there?

I mean... what?

I won't even get into the fact that you can buy them for, like, a dollar pretty much anywhere in this country*.

It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing.

Don't you even get the whole idea of those? They are the lazy person's way of advertising support for a cause, without actually doing anything about it.

I hope drive over a pothole really hard today and hit your head on the roof of your car. I also hope that the pothole you hit gives you a flat tire and that you are attacked by killer bees while you are changing it. And I hope you eat some undercooked chicken that gives you diarrhea for about a month. I also hope you develop an allergy to air or chocolate or something else vital.

And if I ever see the ribbon on your vehicle, I'm stealing it back.

Have a crappy weekend,

me





*And I won't even get into the fact that I didn't actually purchase it myself, but found it abandoned at a car wash.