Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Teen Movies Can Be Misleading

This morning, I'm in the grocery store and the human equivalent of Winnie the Pooh is bagging my groceries - he's cute, he's cuddly, he's jovial, he's kind of a dork. Halfway through my order, another bagger comes up to the checkstand next to us and Pooh perks up.

"Cait....lin," he says all slow and cheesy.

Caitlin, it should be noted, is pretty hot - she's that girl with tight jeans, too much eyeliner and tattoos behind her ears, the kind of girl who probably dates a 30-year-old guy who drives a Camaro. She smiles politely at Pooh and gets to work.

Suddenly Pooh busts out with a chorus of "Isn't she looooovely... Isn't she woooonderful..." directed at her.

"Stevie Wonder," Pooh announces. "That's my jam. Stevie Wonder's greatest hits... The other night, I was downtown and I pulled up next to this car full of guys blasting rap and I just turned up the Stevie..."

In a teen movie, Caitlin would have realized that her Camaro-driving boyfriend would never serenade her in front of a bunch of strangers and that Pooh is charming and sweet and she would invite him to eat lunch with her in the break room.

In real life, Caitlin makes eye contact with me and is trying not to laugh... but not in a "laughing with you" kind of way. It's definitely a "laughing at you" kind of way.

Sorry, Pooh.