Monday, November 29, 2004

thanksgiving highlights:

  • my stepsister and her life partner theorizing that maybe the neighbors don't like them because they're two women living together (um, hop down off of that rainbow colored cross, no one cares that you're gay because it's not 1957, maybe, just maybe, the neighbors don't like you because you have 5 yappy little dogs that, by your admission, bark ALL DAY LONG)
  • my stepdad feeding the portly cocker spaniel table scraps during dinner
  • my mother snarling every time she sees him do this, then lecturing all of us about how the vet told her not to feed the dog people food, like turkey, but that natural food like broccoli is okay, because that's what they eat in the wild. (oh, sure, we've all heard those news reports about packs of wild dogs devastating broccoli crops)
  • my mom's cranberry apple pie (quite tasty, actually), the recipe of which called for the pie to be topped with pie crust cutouts in the shape of leaves or christmas trees. my mom used a cookie cutter shaped like a dog bone - would it be possible to find a less appetizing shape for the top of a dessert? is there perhaps a cookie cutter shaped like a pile of poop?

note to self - next year, do not even THINK of stepping on the scale after the thanksgiving dinner - not a good idea - seriously

posted by Veruca Salt at 7:17 AM |

3 comment(s):

  • wow...your mom. wow.

    and, for the record, brocolli is INCREDIBLY bad for dogs... almost as bad as chocolate...

    and, i would love to have heard in history of the brocolli-devastation of 1925 brought on by a pack of wild shibu inus...

    By Blogger Jootastic, at 9:50 AM  

  • I don't think a dog would willingly eat a piece of broccoli unless it was dipped in gravy, wrapped in ham and packaged with raw steak.

    Or, of course, firmly lodged inside the belly of a fat, injured cat.

    By Blogger Agent 31, at 10:26 AM  

  • Holy crap it took me like 10 minutes to log on! Furthering my appreciation to post anonymously! ; )

    Your highlights are hilarious! A DOG BONE cut out on the pie? ha ha ha ha! If anyone in my family would've done that, I'd tear them apart! Their ego would be non-existant when I got finshed with them! I'm so evil but I'd laugh my ass off! That just isn't something I could let go ... I'm cracking up!

    You should avoid all scales for at least a week after thanksgiving!

    By Blogger nique, at 12:12 PM  

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