Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Hi, my name's Cate and I'm Wrapping Incapable (I'm rapping incapable, too, but I'm white, so no one is surprised by this)(hi, Cate)
It could be a small perfectly square box and I could have expensive wrapping paper, sharp scissors and plenty of tape, but once I'm done with it, it wil be misshapen and ugly, looking like it was wrapped by a four year old... a four year old chimpanzee.
I'm confounded by ribbons and decorative bows. And don't even get me started on the various accessories that some people attach to the presents - I can't even find a matching pair of earrings for myself and I'm supposed to accessorize a package with bells or candy?
I assumed that as I got older, I would acquire the ability to wrap, but no such luck - Granted, there have been some changes over the years - from newspaper to bonafide wrapping paper, from inside out Christmas paper to less Christmas-y looking paper for birthday presents - but I still can't do the Martha Stewart imitation and wrap something so well that it elicits the comment "It's almost too pretty to open". T.G.F.G.B (Thank God For Gift Bags)
On the upside, you can be assured that you're never going to get a present that's lamer than my wrapping job.
4 comment(s):
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this is awesome!! i had to laugh because it reminded me of my boyfriend's wrap job (presents! people not penises)... i told him it looked like a retard wrapped the gifts (thus ensuring my trip to hell, see you all there!!) Awww hahaha!
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Ah yes! I too used to be Wrap incapable...I'm still rap incabable and I'm from "da hood" (yo yo yo)
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Oh my god. Me too! I'm completely wrapping incapable. But I've taken a different approach: I've embraced it. I try to make my presents as ugly as possible. I wrap half a package in one kind of paper and the other half in a different, preferably clashing, kind of paper. I find some ribbon that doesn't match either, and then completely cover the top in stick on bows. Then, instead of attaching a card, I write the to and from on the side in sharpie. Comes out great.
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I'm so with you on the Sharpie thing, Mike - of course, if one isn't available, I grab a ball point pen and scribble the name - Classy
Post a CommentBy
nique, at
9:30 AM
I still have my monets of wrapping retardation. I can do CFD's and DVDs now but still managed to screw up the ends.
Gift bags and tissue paper have been lifesavors for those object larger than my hand.
By
Anonymous, at
10:37 AM
A disclaimer: The above is only true when I have unlimited wrapping supplies. When wrapping things in my apartment I don't have enough stuff to make them that ugly. So I have to settle with my normal wrap job, the one that looks like the gift was wrapped in the wrapping event at the Special Olympics.
By
Michael, at
9:55 PM
By
Veruca Salt, at
1:21 PM
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