Friday, May 06, 2005

My sister suggested that I write something about a tarantula and some other stuff like wax and some mufflers - since she didn't specify what kind of wax (ear, candle or bee) or what kind of muffler (car or fuzzy thing for your hands in the winter) so I'll tell you my only tarantula story -

So, in case you weren't already aware, I'm one of those tough girls with the tattoos and piercings, I listen to punk rock and I own snakes (4 at last count) - I'm the girl that you don't mess with because I'll cut you - and - being the official poster child for reckless abandon, I'm usually up for anything - so - about a month or so ago, when I was at a reptile and exotic pet show and had the opportunity to hold a tarantula, I was ALL over that, I mean, how cool is that? The creepy bug lady (who also had hissing cockroaches and scorpions - both such great pets AND tasty when breaded and fried) gently places the big hairy spider on my hand and warns me not to drop it because it will DIE (weird, kind of like a baby, huh?) and it takes one step on my hand with it's giant furry gross leg and I shriek like a girl "getitoff, getitoff, getitoff, NOW!" - and if she wasn't just taking her sweet time getting the enormous bug off of me - I was about ready to fling it across the room - apparently, I can be as tough as I want, but bugs still fucking creep me out (one of the main reasons I got married was so that there would always be someone around to squish bugs - I should have put that in the vows)


as for New Orleans - it was seriously one of the most amazing, alive cities EVER - the food was wonderful (I acquired a taste for seafood... please, don't make that dirty) and the architecture was awe inspiring... oh, you were hoping for something racier? Me, in New Orleans sounds like it would be hour upon hour of debauchery, right? Drinks and tattoos and voodoo (poonani?) and ghost tours, right? Yeah, not so much - I was there for work and I had a chaperone - a 27 year old virgin who told me I was going to hell for getting my palm read - meh - I didn't get to show my boobs once (because you know that's like currency down there) and I was lucky to get to walk down Bourbon Street in daylight hours - I do hope to get to go again soon - and I hope that I don't remember as much... anyone else up for it?


And Cate, I bet you $3 that New Jersey is funner than Phoenix - PLUS - you're three hours ahead of us - so it's like you live in the future... do they have hover cars and robot maids there yet?


Oh, and I'm wearing a pink bra and polka dotted panties