Wednesday, June 08, 2005

You've got mail*

Dear everyone that I know,

In case you weren't already aware, I don't handle stress or changes in a normal way (here, read this, it's kind of amusing and I don't want to have to plaguerize myself to explain it again) - and since I've got a metric pantload of stress AND changes going on in my life right now (leaving my job, moving all the way across country, and let's not even get into the whole Paris and Paris engagement thing) - I'm telling you right now that you can go ahead and expect me to be a hypersensitive hermit for a while - this means not returning phone calls or emails and not having anything even remotely amusing to blog about (hence... this) - But I'm still me - somewhere deep inside of a mismarked corrugated cardboard box, I'm in here - somewhere - I'm just FREAKING THE HELL OUT - but that doesn't mean you should ignore me - it's just that I won't always respond the way you want, or the way a normal human would - but be patient with me, please - and don't think that I think that you're stalking me (Beans) just because my moments of clarity are sporadic and even then, I'm socially retarded. So, please, keep those cards and letters coming (okay, email me or IM me once in a while, that's the only way I'll respond) and recognize that I'll have innumerableof anecdotes about the road trip from across the country.

Thanks for listening,

C8




Dear everyone at my work who just found out today that I'm leaving,

If I didn't care enough to tell you personally, or if I haven't spoken to you in the almost 2 years that I've worked here, assume that I don't like you and kindly step away from my cubicle.

And, yes, I have heard that there's humidity in the South (I'll take 85 and humid over 120 degrees any day). And, yes, I've heard that people talk a little differently down there. And, yes, they have indoor plumbing AND the internet there. And, no, they won't be replacing me here because, in case you've never noticed, I don't actually do anything here. If you could be so kind as to fuck off, I would greatly appreciate it because I've got a whole internet's worth of porn that isn't going to view itself.

Keep in touch,

Cate

*mindless ramblings that no one cares about - okay, the usual from me