Friday, September 30, 2005

I've noticed recently, that there is a rash of celebrities who need to be kicked in the shins HARD - cases in point -

Cameron Diaz for complaining because she was being photographed at a press conference (um, go into radio if it's such a problem for you)

Tara Reid for making a career out of being a tired-looking bar skank

Tom Cruise for... pretty much everything he's done in the last 6 months or so

but yesterday, I saw a small piece on Gwyneth "I-wouldn't-have-a-career-if-I-hadn't-dated-Brad-Pitt" Paltrow that made me want to hire someone to kick her in the shins. It's not enough that she's one of those rich smug actresses who talks about how much she dislikes America, it's not enough that she's got that weird macrobiotic herbivore diet going, it's not enough that she had to name her kid after a fruit and then get defensive when people ask about it, now she has to go on record bragging about how "clever" and "very, very funny" her kid is? First of all, the kid is barely a year old, I'll give you funny, but clever? Do you know why her first word was in Spanish? Because you taught her that, not because she has such a great respect and admiration for Spain. And boast about her being "reasonable" and how you've never once had to raise your voice to her or lose your patience? shut. the fuck. up. I'm also guessing, Gwyneth, that you've never had to stay up all night with a sick kid and then go to work the next day with barf on your shirt, or plant your kid in front of the Teletubbies and lock yourself in the bathroom just so you can have 40 seconds of peace. I'm assuming you have a nanny to help out in those terribly inconvenient instances. Could you do everyone a favor and shut your pie hole until you can make a decent movie? Mmmkay? Thanks