Monday, September 26, 2005

My new deodorant smells like Peach Schnapps

Not that there's anything wrong with Peach Schnapps, I even happen to like most of those coquettishly named drinks that count it as an ingredient. Although once when I was 15 and had to spend summers in Florida with my dad, my brother (the betrothed one) decided that it would be cute to get his little sister drunk and he got into our dad and stepmom-o-the-month*'s liquor cabinet and started mixing drinks for me. I have no idea how much I drank, in fact, all I remember is waking up the next morning with a giant puddle of peach-scented vomit next to my bed. For about the next 6 or 7 years, I couldn't even hear the words "Peach Schnapps" without throwing up in my mouth a little bit. Fortunately, by the time I was of legal drinking age, I was good to go again. Jagermeister is another story entirely, after a bad experience when I was 17 or so involving a trip to Hollywood, some glam rock guys in a no-name band, and hosing puke off of the back of my friend's Ford Escort, I still can't even consider that stuff without feeling a little woozy (not in a good way).


* my mom and dad have both been married at least 5 times - this particular stepmom was an undiagnosed diabetic or had something else wonky in her head and ended up turning psycho, buying a gun and threatening to shoot my brother - yep, my parents can pick 'em!