Tuesday, February 28, 2006

This is just my way of sticking it to the man... and his wife

So... this morning, there was something due at 11 for some job that some people here were interested in bidding. Whatever, the bidding of jobs does not generally affect me at all (especially now that I'm more or less persona non grata here) but today, the Bitter Smoker Chick has pulled an excuse out of her Myriad-o'-Health-Issues bag and decided not to come in. Normally, I would be happy about this, because when she's not here, I don't have to listen to her incessant whining and I don't go home smelling like I spent the day canoodling with the Marlboro Man. But today, because of aforementioned bid, I actually had to involve myself in company business - and by "involve myself with company business", I mean "walk my ass upstairs and retrieve a packet of papers from Bitter Smoker Chick's nicotene-stained desk and bring them downstairs for Bosslady to sign and deliver"

So I walked up there, retrieved the packet of papers and brought them downstairs just in time to get a call from Bosslady saying that she "probably" wouldn't be around this morning because she had some workers coming to deliver something to her house. This is not unusual, Bosslady is generally in the office for no more than an hour a week, but I advised her that she would need to come sign the papers because the bid was due at 11. She got a little pissy and said that she would "try" to rearrange her schedule to get here. My sarcastic "thank you SO much" went right over her head (as usual).

Less than two minutes later, she calls back and says that she talked to Bossman and that I should "just go ahead and sign it".

"Oh... um..." I say, allowing a dramatic pause.

"What?" she asks.

"I, um... well, I don't know that I'm comfortable forging your name on an official document," I say with as much All-American-apple-pie-scented innocence as I could muster. Then I reached into my drawer and took out some of the company postage stamps to mail out a few resumes.

In your face, small business owner.