Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Physician, heal thyself... or something

So, I work for a construction/general contractor company, right? And they build stuff and rebuild stuff and restore stuff and fix stuff all the time, right?

Could someone explain to me how our building, which Bossman owns, is falling apart?

The walls are filthy and need paint.

Every time we get a heavy rain, the bottom floor (where my desk is) floods.

We have rats and roaches.

The front door is the wrong size, and wood, so it expands with moisture.

And the latest - our front doorknob - you know, the thing we use to get in and out of the building - is cheap, poorly-installed, and only works sporadically (and, come on, that's got to be a pretty punk-ass doorknob to now WORK)

Today, the doorknob stopped working altogether. The door wouldn't open. Bitter Smoker Chick and I were inside, and everyone else was outside.

One of the skeevy worker guys tried to open the door to come in to ogle me work or something and after listening to him struggle with it for a full minute, I decided to get up from my desk and get all Xena-Princess-Warrior and shit and try to force the door open. It was a full minute or so of me twisting the doorknob with every ounce of my Amazonian strength, but to no avail - the door wouldn't budge.

I look through the peephole* and see another one of the skeevy worker guys step up to the door to give it his best shot and after seeing him twist and turn on the knob with no success, I decided to just return to my desk and get back to surfing pr0n working.

There were several minutes of different workmen giving their best carnival attempts at it until finally I recognize the voice of one of the guys, a big, dumb one called Gator who tells the others to step aside.

He gives the doorknob a quick wrestle then decides the best course of action is... to knock... on the door... that everyone and his cousin has just attempted to open from both the inside AND the outside...

mmm hmmm... way to go, Einstein, knocking on the door is TOTALLY GOING TO WORK. I wonder why no one else tried that...


* Doesn't that sound dirty?