Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Reason # 52,998 why being a celebrity sucks

Because of stories like this, which contain quotes like this:


"...Jennifer and Vince mutually agreed to end their relationship but continue to be good friends today."


"Mutually agreed"?

Jen: I don't know that I can handle another moment in your presence.
Vince: Thank GAWD, I can't stand you anymore either, but I didn't know how to bring it up, wanna break up?
Jen: Totally! peace out, bitch.

riiiiight

And that whole thing about being "committed to remaining close friends" shit? Puh-leez! No one stays friends when they break up, there's that gut wrenching time when you have to go pick up your stuff from their place, and that awkward time you run into them at the movie theater, but there's no "friends" there, it's just one less person in your MySp@ce top 8.

What kind of bullshit is that?

Why can't celebrities be completely candid and say something like:

"Yeah, me and that douchebag broke up. I knew it was over when I found him masturbating with the Harry and David catalog - what a freak! I'll never look at the produce section at Kroger the same."

or

"I broke up with my girlfriend this weekend because I couldn't stand the endless Gilmour Girls marathons followed by crying for hours over the fact that she doesn't know if she'll be a good mom. At least now I don't have to feel guilty for screwing her supervisor at work."