Thursday, January 24, 2008

Dear Parents of the 32 (!)* Children Who Received Invitations to My Kid's Birthday Party,

I personally filled out each and every one of those 32 invitations - yes, including the hand-drawn map to the park where the party will be - yes, it was a lot of work. I've also purchased a pantload of sports-themed plates, cups and napkins, a buttload of those giveaway toys that you have to give out, and about 70 pounds of candy for the damn pinyata. And tomorrow, I'm buying snacks and drinks and ice and making cupcakes. Obviously, I'm going through a lot of work to make this party enjoyable for all involved.

Could you just do me the tiniest damn favor and RSV-goddamn-P? The phone number is on the invitation. I don't even answer the phone most of the time, so you could just leave a message. And, really, it's only fucking polite, okay? Can you give me this? Please? So I can figure out how many damn cupcakes to frost? Hey, don't get all butthurt at me when your kid doesn't get a cupcake, okay?

Just wanting the party to be over,


the frazzled mother who will be giving you dirty looks when you show up unannounced

*It's really not like my kid's a total pimp or anything, he just had to invite all the kids on both of his basketball teams and all the kids in his class.

Labels: adventures in shitty parenting, letter to