Monday, December 24, 2007

Is it better to know, or to not?

For the past few days, every single time the phone rang, my heart was in my throat - the updates about my dad have come in spurts -

he's doing better today,

he might be moved out of ICU

he had a bad night

he's in pain

he's well enough to be moved to the new cardiac facility so they can do an exploratory thing...


The exploratory thing revealed that he needed a quadruple bypass. And some other test revealed a chronic kidney condition that will require him to be on dialysis for the rest of his life.

Or he could just pack it all in, head home and have about five weeks.

So I send this question into the great wide open - is it better to know and have that deadline looming above your head, a number stamped on your t-shirt, or is it better to not know?

on the one hand, maybe it's better to know and be able to dot every last "i" and cross every last "t" - but for the people you're leaving - does it prolong the grieving process, or give them a chance to "get used to" the concept?

And a bonus question - what's better - a life hooked up to a machine, or no life at all?