Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Now what am I supposed to do?

(Hypothetically) For months and months, I've been anxiously anticipating the publication of Lynne Spears' book on parenting.

But yesterday when the news broke that her 16-year-old daughter is pregnant, the freaking puritans who were set to publish the book have decided to shelve it indefinitely.

What the hell?

Just because two of this woman's three kids are trainwrecks, does this automatically make her a questionable parent? Come on! What year is this, 1877? I mean, why don't we just brand them all with scarlet "A"s? It's not like they've killed someone or made a living out of clubbing snuggly little baby seals.

Now how am I supposed to turn my kid into a money factory? Hey, it's not like I'm employable, I might as well make some cash off of my kid, you know? And who better to know than the woman who shoved Britney Spears into a schoolgirl uniform and some fuzzy scrunchies?

Thanks a lot, Conservatives!