Tuesday, March 18, 2008

See that cookie?

That poor lonely cookie?

That poor lonely cookie who has been sitting in that same location on that same plate on my counter for nearly a week?

What, you may be wondering, is wrong with that cookie? Was it dropped on the floor? Or licked by the cat? Or sneezed on? Is that white powder on top arsenic?

The answer to all of these questions is no.

As you can tell from the crumbs and void in the powdered sugar, this cookie wasn't always alone. It had a couple dozen cookie brothers and sisters from the same batch. Those cookies were practically all devoured before they even cooled to room temperature.

So what makes this cookie different?

I'll tell you what - this cookie is The Last Cookie(tm).

The Last Cookie(tm) is a sacred thing. If someone were to consume The Last Cookie(tm) he or she would be subject to all sorts of terrible things - things like rinsing the plate and putting it into the dishwasher.

The Last Cookie(tm)'s fate is sitting on this same plate until I get sick of seeing The Last Cookie(tm) and use a butter knife to pry it off of the plate and into the trashcan.

The existence of The Last Cookie(tm)'s is a lonely, tragic one. Don't let something like this happen in your kitchen, just eat the damn cookie, would you?

Labels: suzy fucking homemaker