Wednesday, February 11, 2009

You know that lady you see at the grocery store?

The one with no makeup, ratty hair up in a ponytail, dirty jeans and a somewhat pathetic, lost look? The one that makes you think "awww, she's completely given up, how sad"?

That lady was me yesterday. Wandering around Albertson's, balking at the price of everything and looking like the dog's breakfast*. It's so weird to have to try to restock an entire house so you can live in it (especially when you have no idea if you'll be able to find your silverware or spatulas).

But we're in the house, we have the internet and cable and our insane Bulgarian landlord is one of the friendliest people ever**, which is probably good because he's building a house next door to this house and he's there/here all the time.

Also, the people who did the packing can chow down on an industrial-sized bag of dicks for the following reasons:

1) Completely lame and/or nonexistent labeling of stuff - I can't tell you how many boxes labeled "Nik-Naks?"*** I had to open to find my damn Wii. And writing "Glass" on the side of a giant box doesn't really help me all that much, especially when it contains my spices and spatulas. And the brown-paper wrapped parcel marked "patio/shoe", wtf is that supposed to be?

2) Blatant disregard of the environment and/or a desire to pad their bill - I have not found one single thing that hasn't been wrapped in AT LEAST 2 sheets of the heavy-duty packing paper - I'm talking about plastic hairbrushes and my husband's ridiculous collection of hotel shampoos**** bundled up like they're fucking Faberge eggs. (Because of their overuse of packaging materials, we've had to call in someone to unpack, which means that it's costing my husband's company even more money, because otherwise, it would take me about 9 weeks of trash to be able to get rid of it all.)

3) Packing everything that was in the dresser and bedside tables (INCLUDING MY UNDERWEAR) and not labeling it well enough for me to find it immediately.



*which is kind of a weird phrase, since I don't feed my dogs breakfast, but I guess if I did, it wouldn't look a whole lot different than their dinner, which generally looks like crap.

** he halfway hugged me when he first met me and I'm pretty sure I recoiled (because I'm not really a huggy person) and now he probably thinks I'm weird.

*** spelled just like that, and including the question mark

**** dude, seriously, I'll buy you a freaking bottle of shampoo, stop stealing every single bottle of hotel shampoo you can get your hands on!