Saturday, November 17, 2012

These are the people in your neighborhood

Our next door neighbors are cops. A cute little cop lady and her attractive cop husband - they're young-ish, they look like they listen to country music, they have quite a collection of decorative plates* and they drive big American trucks.

Having cops next door makes me feel safe - weather permitting, I leave the windows open whether I'm home or not, I rarely remember to lock the back door and more than once, I've forgotten to close the garage door when I've left (you can't access the house from the garage, but there's still a bunch of stuff in there)**.

Yesterday afternoon, I noticed a shit ton of cop cars going down our street*** &**** and I sent the dude and The Kid out to investigate - turns out there was a break-in. At the cops' house. In the middle of the afternoon. They went in through an unlocked window*****.

Fan-fucking-tastic. If you need me, I'll be boarding up the windows and trading my dogs in for trained alligators.


* I'm not stalking, our kitchen looks right into theirs, so I can see the plates

**not that we have anything especially valuable, we don't have silver or antiques or jewelery, but we've got tvs and my kid has a pretty impressive collection of basketball shoes.

*** seriously, I've seen murder scenes with less of a response. It looked like they were having a pot luck or something.

**** I was pleasantly surprised to see that the detective lady who showed up was tv-pretty (although, she had her hair back in a ponytail, not all done and sexy like on tv)

***** maybe I watch too much CSI, but this is suspicious as fuck. Our houses are on a residential street in the middle of the neighborhood, you can't get here by accident, you have to take a couple of different streets to get here, half of the residents are home during the day (we happened to be home when it happened) and at least 3/4 of the houses have dogs. And it's not a super nice neighborhood - I mean, it's not the ghetto, but the houses are small and no one has fancy cars. This person parked in front of the house, went over the locked gate into their backyard and happened to find a closed but unlocked window in the back of the house. That's a LOT of lucky breaks for a criminal, you know what I mean? (the lady cop said that they ransacked their bedroom and stole a jewelery box, but she said they opened the closet, saw the husband cop's uniforms hanging in there and left...?)