Friday, December 03, 2004

Happy Birthday -- You're evicted!!!

That's about how the evening went. No, we weren't causing a ruckus (is that how you spell that?) at my birthday extravaganza... the owner decided to sell the house... so we have 60 days to get our asses out of there.

Here's me coming home from work:

Mom calls (stressful)
Dad calls (fun)
Sister calls (yay!)

While on the phone with favoritest sister, I pull up (in my car, not my pants....well, I was wearing pants, it's not that I was naked...I mean... well, I was driving is what I'm trying to say... and I was wearing pants...).... and some hoe bag has parked in my parking spot...on my birthday!!!....

So, I have to back up into traffic, find a parking spot, and parallel park, in heels, on my birthday, while on the phone...and wearing pants...

I walk up to my door to discover that the bitch-whore who was in my spot was my landlord... and she's taping a piece of paper to my door...

Me: What are you...?
Bitch Whore: Oh, yeah... I already talked to your roommate about this, you guys have to leave in 60 days...
Me: What are you...?
Sister (still on the phone): **Dead silence**
Bitch Whore: Yeah, sorry, but you guys have 60 days...
Me: Um...
Sister: **Dead silence**
Me (wearing a birthday tiara): Huh... well, happy birthday to me!

Then I walked in the door and slammed it...

And the birthday celebration started...