Friday, January 21, 2005

10 ways my life is unlike the movies

10) I have never grumbled the phrase “I’m getting’ too old for this shit”

9) I’ve never had a complete stranger impart perfectly timed wisdom unto me at the blackest point of my life

8) I’ve never been described as being a “loose cannon” or having “nothing to lose”

7) I’ve never been involved in a high speed pursuit with either police or some supervillian's expendable henchmen

6) I’ve never uttered one of those I-just-found-a-dead-body girly screams

5) I’ve never teamed up with a vampire to fight the forces of evil

4) I’ve never teamed up with anyone to fight the forces of evil

3) I've never even had a minor disagreement with the forces of evil

2) I’ve never been able to guess a perfect stranger’s computer password in three guesses or less

and the number one way my life is unlike the movies...

1) I have never knelt over a mortally wounded loved one, imploring “Don’t die on me!” (Usually, I just hold the pillow over his or her face until they stop twitching)

posted by Veruca Salt at 8:01 AM |

8 comment(s):

  • And I have never had to fight the forces of evil and still maintain the perfect hair, make-up and/or nails.

    I think my life closely represents a trashy soap opera more than anything else. Unfortunately.

    By Blogger Samantha, at 8:11 AM  

  • I have never broken into Song during a dramatic moment in my life to convey the thoughts that were going through my head

    I have never had those around me break into a perfectly choreographed dance sequence to go along with the song I have never broken into

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:28 AM  

  • I think it would be cool if my life resembled one of those trashy Mexican soap operas, but I don't know if I could handle having my hair that tall.

    And I'm glad that my life doesn't resemble a musical because, aside from not being able to carry a tune in a bucket, I have no rhythym - zero, zilch, none, nada...

    By Blogger Veruca Salt, at 8:28 AM  

  • See that's the beauty of it. If you're life was a musical then you'd be born a professional Singer and dancer.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:48 AM  

  • Citygurl - I'm all about becoming a villian... or at least a henchman... henchgirl... hench-chick... henchbitch? Villians have better costume and dialogue anyway...

    By Blogger Veruca Salt, at 8:55 AM  

  • Wanted: Henchwomen for evildoing. Flashy costumes provided, witty dialogue a must. Alcohol distributed at request.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:12 AM  

  • rock on! bring on the leather bustier, freeflowing alcohol and hot and cold running boys... Viva La Eeee-vil

    By Blogger Veruca Salt, at 9:18 AM  

  • for the simple reason that you mentioned leather bustier...you're hired!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:21 AM  

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