Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Public Service Announcement

On my commute to work today, I saw a billboard, right by the railroad tracks announcing that October 2 - 8 is Mental Health Awareness Week - Finally!!! A nationally recognized time to celebrate my dysfunction!!!!

I call upon all of you who hear my voice read my words to be aware of your mental deficiencies and inefficiencies, and the mental deficiencies and inefficiencies of those around you, this week:

• stop spying on your ex-boyfriend, jump out of the shadows and proclaim "I'm a stalker!"
• stop ignoring the voices in your head, sit down and have a nice little chat with them!
• Let all your personalities shine!
• stop burying the bodies out in the woods in the dark of night, dig a nice big hole in your front yard, who cares if the neighbors are watching?
• don't be ashamed of your obsessive need to wash your hands ten times a day, lather up, freak!
• don't avert your eyes to the homeless guy singing Elvis Presley songs, covered in his own feces, give him a big hug, invite him home for dinner, or at least buy him a fifth!

Say it loud, say it proud, I'm a whack job and I'm proud!