Thursday, May 11, 2006

because i'm tired of people a person complaining at me to write

I give you:

A Tale of Two Jennifers

I'm not one of those people who keep in close contact with all of my friends, unless I see you on a daily basis (or several times a week at derby practice), you probably don't hear from me often - just the sporadic IM conversations, ocassional emails and very infrequent phone calls - it's just how I am - it's not like I don't value each and every one most of my friend, it's just that I'm socially retarded and relationships are difficult for me. So friends tend to drift in and out of my life - moreso now with the advent of something called "the interweb" and certain "social networking" websites that allow people to passively stalk others.

On my last post (scroll down, I'm not linking it), I received a comment from Jennifer, a girl I've known since the first day of freshman year in high school - we were super close in school, then, semi-close after school, then she moved to Chicago, I moved to Seattle, then Arizona, then Savannah - in between, we emailed a couple of times and lost touch more times than I can count. It wasn't because I don't adore her, it's just because grown up life happens, you know? So when she posted a comment, I was super happy (and she made me laugh by calling me a "hoser" - and I think she's a hoser for not emailing me)

Earlier this week, I got an email from another Jennifer - one that I had known since my sophomore year of high school - this Jennifer I was also close to in high school (she considered me her best friend, I considered her...) we got into a lot of trouble together and I even lived with her and her parents for a while. She was the friend who was always up for any kind of anything - she was the one who did drugs, slept with everyone (including my first boyfriend, thankyouverymuch) and lied as easily as she breathed - and that was fine, I guess, at the time. Then she got knocked up, had a kid, got married and that was a whole aspect of life that I, at 21, could not relate to, so we drifted apart. I did my 21 year old thing, then met a guy, moved to Seattle and then Arizona and then ended up married and pregnant. I got back in touch with her and we sort of became friends again. The thing was, though, that she hadn't changed at all since high school, other than the drug use, which she had laid off of, she was still the same slutty drama-addict who lied about lame shit for no reason. It didn't bug me right away, but then it got to be really annoying - maybe I had grown up, or something, but I didn't feel like putting forth the GIANT effort it took to keep up with her. Eventually, she was a toxic person and I eventually decided that I didn't need that in my life, so I cut off contact with her. Let's just say that she didn't take it well - there were 10 emails a day ranging from "why aren't you talking to me" to "I'm sorry for whatever I did" to "I hope you live a miserable life" - completely manic, none of which I replied to - she's the kind of person who, give her an inch, she'll take your kidney - seriously. That was four years ago and she's now got 2 kids and is in her 3rd marriage and I know all about her life because every few months, she emails me these long winded emails about how she's doing, how her kids are doing and how her family is doing (keep in mind that I'm still not replying) - there was even a time when she claimed to have cancer (I say "claimed" because this is the kind of girl who would claim to be pregnant to get a guy to call her back - I know, right?). So, this week, she finds my email on some high school reunion site and emails me some happy little email, littered with exclamation points, best wishes and "gosh I hope you can find it within yourself to forgive me and reconcile our friendship" - I ignored it, because, come on now, it's been four fucking years, take a fucking hint, right? So two days later, she emails me again - a long winded email including the following excerpt:


So I am guessing that either A) you still have no desire to speak to me or B) you haven't checked your email...but I know you and I am pretty certain is 'A'. I guess I am just a glutton for punishment since I keep writing, or still severely blonde (even after years of dying the hair red) and just cant take a hint. I am sure it's the latter. I donned know if it has to do with the fact that my birthday is tomorrow, and I was asked earlier this week by a friend what was my best birthday ever, and I immediately jumped to the thoughts of you and I in downtown Vegas by ourselves, without the husbands.... the trip I am certain was the beginning of the end for our friendship. I guess jump plain and simple - I miss our friendship....


after reading that email, my only response was: wtf is "donned"? Seriously. She used it twice in the email.

So - to recap - I want the first Jennifer to email me and I want the second Jennifer to pick up a second grade grammer book and crawl the fuck back under a rock.

And I'm out.

Labels: what about your friends