Saturday, June 17, 2006

Sometimes I feel completely unprepared for this whole "grown up" thing

As a kid, I always assumed that by the time I was old and decrepit like I am now 32, I'd have all the accoutrements of grown up-ed-ness - stuff like matching dinner plates, nice wine glasses, decorative towels, seasonal decorations (for more than just Christmas), a silk flower arrangement of some kind, decent flatware, a side table, a beach blanket, window treatments, a bathrobe, a decreased desire to play video games, an increased desire for manicures and pedicures, and guest soaps.

As it happens, I have none of these things.

Yes, I own a home and a car and have a kid, but there are so many other signs that I am dysfunctional as an adult -

• I find it perfectly acceptable (an achievement, even) to stay in pajamas all day long.
• When someone mentions shoe shopping, I think Converse, not Mahnolo Blahnik.
• I don't own any matching bra/panty sets.
• I own one pot holder (that I can rarely find).
• I do not yearn for a Costco membership.
• I never wear skirts on the weekend.
• Pigtails are an acceptable hairstyle for work.
• I carry a pair of fishnets and 7 lip glosses in my purse.
• I have approximately 4 empty soda bottles and at least 20 cd cases on the passenger side of my car.
• I can never find scotch tape.
• The most used drink cups in my house are those big plastic cups that you get 4 for $1.
• I can never seem to pick up my underwear off of the floor.
• I run out of toilet paper ocassionally (but never run out of shampoo and conditioner).

I guess maybe I was just waiting to get some kind of notification in the mail that I needed to purchase a Christmas kitten sweatshirt and napkin rings and get on with adulthood.