Friday, July 21, 2006

I have no idea how people can stand being unemployed

Because there is seriously NOTHING on tv.

Nuh.
Thing.

TV disappoints me.

TV has been my friend since the beginning - from Saturday morning cartoons to being my latchkey kid babysitter to showing me the ideal high school environment on "Beverly Hills 90210" - but lately tv has been letting me down.

Seriously, what are my options during the day?

  • Welfare tv with the likes of Jerry Springer and Maury "You. are. NOT. the. father." Povich? That's not even worth getting out of bed - there's only like two hours of it and then nothing but crap ass court shows - What happened to Jenny Jones and Ricki Lake? What happened to 7 hours of uninterrupted trash tv? The people whose lives made me feel better about myself? Now I'm stuck with an endless stream of people suing their ex-lovahs for custody of the cat and the Yugo. Where's the fun there?

  • What about cable? Sure, I could watch the same reruns of "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" fourteen times, but after the first three or four times, the jokes start to get old.

  • What about the semi-premium channels? The 44 channels of Encore for every different genre of cinema? Yeah, what-thefuck-ever, if I see "The Notebook" one more time, I'll stick my head in the oven.

  • And the premium-premium channels? Between 37 HBOs and 29 Showtimes, I get shit like "Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man" and "Revenge of the Nerds 3" And how much do I pay every month for that crap?

Oh, sure, I could go skate or do something else outside, but it's as gross-hot and humid as Satan's armpit after an hour on the elliptical here and if I'm outside for more than 2 minutes, my internal organs start to melt and my eyeballs prune up like raisins.

I could work on my writing, but I'm so ADD that I need sound in the background and we're back to the tv thing, and same for reading a book.

It's at the point where I would almost consider a career in retail just to have the human contact.



I said "almost"

2 comment(s):

  • allow me to map out your morning for you

    8-9AM = designing women on lifetime
    9-10AM golden girls on lifetime
    10AM-noon = 2 ER episodes in TNT
    Noon-1PM=Will&Grace reruns on Lifetime
    1PM-2PM = you're on your own
    and at 2 I believe the law and order re runs kick in. I usually go On Demand and watch a movie, or SATC or HBO TV show reruns.

    i would be awesome at being unemployed.


    By Blogger Sarah, at 11:15 AM  

  • Yeah, that's why I ditched cable about a year ago and haven't looked back. Of course, maybe that's 'cause the cable guy hooked me up (I dunno how) with some E! on basic cable. Yet, while I'm surprised that I can watch "Simple Life" for a half-hour, I do get tired of Paris...

    By Blogger Dee, at 11:02 PM  

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