Saturday, August 05, 2006

Hakuna Matata, Bitches*

So I'm at the movie theater today because, in spite of my aversion to NASCAR, Will Ferrell is one of the funniest people on the planet.

"Talladega Nights" is, like most Will Ferrell movies, FREAKING AWESOME. But I will say that the best quote of the day comes, not from the movie, but from the big old redneck guy sitting in front of us when some socially retarded guy in the next row decided to have a fairly loud conversation on his cell phone during the movie.

"Put up yer phone, ya ass!" he yelled. "We all came to the movie to see the movie, not to hear yer dumb ass."

How are there STILL people who think it's okay to take or make phone calls IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING MOVIE? Seriously. And the worst part? The guy on the phone actually seemed shocked SHOCKED to have been called out on his jackassinine-ness. Like he just thought he'd be able to conduct all of his personal business in the middle of 50 or 60 other people who had all paid $9 to see the movie.

The big old angry redneck guy was my hero of the day.

One more movie theater pet peeve? Why is it that the people who work the ticket counter and the concessions have zero sense of urgency? It's not as though the movies have flexible start times, like they'll just get it going when everyone's settled and ready. So why does it take that teenager behind the counter three full minutes to find the lid for my Cherry Coke and get the popcorn bucketed up? I didn't order rack of lamb, or a sushi platter, it's just soda and popcorn.

And speaking of "just soda and popcorn" - what the hell is the deal with people who can't decide what to order? It's a movie theater, there's no catch of the day or specials, they have popcorn, sodas, nachos and various candies, get the hell on with it.



*Second best quote of the day, that one's actually from the movie