Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Never call me unresourceful

I killed a cockroach this morning with the garbage disposal. Yep, the garbage disposal.

This morning, when my munchkin was getting ready for school, I heard a squall from the kitchen.

"There's a cockroach on the ceiling!"

I run in there - which, why? I can't kill cockroaches, they're too big and icky, it's like squishing a bird or something - and there it is, about half the size of most of the gargantuan roaches I see out here, so I'm not only about half as freaked out as I usually am..

I dig through about a billion bottles of 409 and grocery bags under the sink and find a nearly empty spray bottle of Home Defense (or one of those indoor bug killer things).

I don't really know what to do from there, since, if I spray it, it's going to fall on my head and that will be 9 billion times worse than anything, but I can't just leave it because it might scurry all the way into my bedroom and touch my feet while I'm sleeping.

So I put on a pair of heavy shoes, step a safe distance back and spritz once. El cucaracha falls off the ceiling and right into the sink (that thing is SO lucky it didn't touch my coffee maker).

Of course, there is about half a sink's worth of dirty dishes, so the icky bug is hidden in there somewhere. I start taking out dishes one at a time until I find that little fucker, hiding behind the plastic bowl that is still holding the remnants of last night's leftover chili. I flip on the water, quickly dump the chili bowl and, while the insect is trying to lash together four black beans to make a life raft, I switch on the garbage disposal.

Five minutes (and about 400 gallons of water) later, I finally felt confident that it was no longer a threat to me or my child.


Oh, and hurricane season? Needs to be over, like NOW, if only so I can go to the grocery store without a billion people freaking out over the last package of paper plates.

Labels: suzy fucking homemaker