Friday, September 05, 2008

I like food and I like cooking. I also like shopping for food. I shop for food the way some women shop for shoes - I even go to grocery stores when I visit other cities just to see what the food is like there.

Because I do so enjoy my food shopping, I like to do it early in the mornings when there are less people jockeying for position in the produce department. This doesn't mean that I don't run in to my fair share of weirdos, such as:

• the guys who bathe in cologne - seriously? Who are you hoping to attract at 8:30? The only people in the grocery store are me and about 700 senior citizens.

• the overly peppy old lady traipsing down the aisles telling every single person "God bless you! God loves you!" (when she said it to me, I kind of raised my eyebrows and said "right back atcha". Then I went back to perusing the frozen vegetables and pondering how if someone from a "less popular" religion went around blessing people in his or her own way, that person would probably be tarred and feathered)

• the woman camped out in the olive oil section, on her cell phone, taking up the whole aisle. Lady, I know the choices are dizzying; virgin, extra virgin, cold-pressed, flavored, but if you honestly have to phone-a-friend to figure it out? Well, I'd hate to see you in the cereal aisle. Also, move your ass off to one side, would ya? There are more decisive people who would like to get through.

• the angry guy buying (no exaggeration) 60 bags of carrots and a diet coke - and complaining to the cashier that she's too slow and he's late for work. Really? Because it's the cashier's fault you picked a time when they have only one register open to go on your carrot binge? And seriously? 60 bags of carrots? WTF are you going to do with all of those?
  

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