Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Open Letters

Dear Governor Schwarzenegger,

It's no secret that you've fucked the state economy so badly that California residents are getting IUOs instead of state tax refunds and that hundreds of employees in the education system are getting pink slips (including 40 people in my son's teeny tiny school district), but what I don't understand is why every time I turn on my tv, I see celebrity-studded commercials for this state.

I'm assuming you're hoping that this will increase tourism to this fair state, but... let me break this to you - California isn't a secret. No one is unaware that the state exists, no one has forgotten about Disneyland or San Francisco or the beaches. If tourism is down it's because the economy sucks ass right now, not because people have forgotten that your big, square, plastic head lives here. How about we take the money that we're spending on those 90 kazillion commercials (many during prime time) and, oh, I don't know, put it back into the schools so kids can, you know, learn?

Look into it, k?


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Dear My Kid's School,

I get that your hands are kind of tied with the whole budget thing and I get that you have to make difficult decidions and let some people, including a couple teachers, go. What I don't get is why you chose to tell one of the fourth grade teachers that, as of June, she's umemployed ON A TUESDAY IN THE MIDDLE OF A SCHOOL DAY. It would seem... what's the word I'm looking for? oh, right, HUMAN or DECENT to do something like this on a Friday, or at least at the end of the day, so she's got a few minutes to compose herself before she has to face her class again.

See if you can finish the week without emotionally scarring my kid and his schoolmates, would ya?

Thanks


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Dear Girls/Women Who Are Out at the Grocery Store in Pajamas Bottoms and Ugg Boots*,

You give up, we get it.

And those heinous boots I can almost accept because they're supposedly really comfortable and warm, but is it really too much to ask that your mopey ass put on some damn pants before you leave the house?

Look into it, k?

Thanks




*I'm not talking about obviously sick people, people shopping for sick kids or anytime between the hours of midnight and six AM.