Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Accidentally appropriate t-shirt is appropriate

For The Kid's birthday (the reason for the ugly cake), he decided he wanted to go out to dinner at one of those completely gross All-You-Can-Eat buffet restaurants.

As The Kid and I are filling up our plates with healthy options like macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes and fried chicken, we both stop dead in our tracks.

Lumbering towards us is one of the 1,200 pregnant women who were dining there that evening.

Now let me stop here and say that, having been a pregnant woman at one point in time (10 years, 364 days ago to be exact) I am well aware of how uncomfortable pregnancy can be and I will generally give any expectant mother the benefit of the doubt. I'm not gonna pretend that I took care of any bikini-area grooming once I couldn't see that area anymore, and I won't act like I didn't have my days when I wore pajama bottoms to work, but...

She's wearing pink Birkenstocks, black knee socks, white jeans cut into shorts so short that the bottoms of the pockets are showing and a giant black t-shirt that says "Unforgiveable".

Okay, the shoes and socks we can let slide - this far pregnant, she probably hasn't seen her feet in three months. But the shorts!!!! She's a tall girl, and was probably built like a linebacker prior to impregnation, so these shorts were never appropriate for her (or anyone who isn't Britney Spears in 2001). Factoring in how she's approximately 43 months pregnant and these shorts haven't fit her well since about month 2 - I can't assume that muffin-toppage is comfortable, or healthy for the baby.

I'd like to think that wearing that particular shirt was her way of acknowledging, but somehow... I doubt it.