Friday, August 13, 2010

If caring is a crime, I should be locked away.

I have the amazing ability to make sense of anyone's life except mine - it's uncanny, really. So I often find myself giving out advice*.

Of course, like Lucy Van Pelt, I tend to give out advice under my terms - I was texting with someone the other day who was having some issue with his parents. Eventually (like, after 3 texts) I got tired of my dumb non-keyboard-having phone** and told him I was going to email him instead. He texts back that I'm being so nice and I don't have to listen to or respond to his complaining.

A normal person would have told him it was no problem blah blah blah, but I couldn't really be that nice, right?

"Would you just shut it and let me finish my email?"

*even though, if anyone wanted real advice, he or she should procure that from my sister, as she's actually trained for it and I'm just as likely to dole out shitty advice like "you should get a new tattoo" as I am to say anything marginally helpful.

** and I am physically incapable of abbreviating ANYTHING in a text - seriously, the other night, I actually typed out "okay". Like "ok" wouldn't have gotten my point across?

2 comment(s):

  • I tend to do the same thing when people text me/im me constantly and without me being able to get in a word edgewise except, being the passive aggressive cunt that I am, i just ignore them. No response. Even though I stay online or keep my phone on to text someone else.

    By Blogger Ames Plaza, at 5:34 PM  

  • Why the fuck do you know Lucy's last name?

    By Blogger excruciatingly, at 5:18 PM  

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