Friday, July 27, 2012

Dear Facebook "Friends",

Stop adding me to your "professional network" or whatever the fuck I keep getting notification for - I'm FUCKING UNEMPLOYED, okay? Unless you are looking for an obscure pop culture reference stitched on some pretty vintage fabric, being professionally connected to me will do nothing for you.

And please stop sending me game requests and "put your birthday on my calendar" requests - If I didn't respond to your first 477 requests, I'm not going to respond to the next 389, okay?

And, just a tip, if we haven't spoken since high school (or ever) and you legitimately want to be friends with me*, just... be friends with me, okay? It's not really that difficult.**





* but... why? Are you some kind of crazy person? If so, we could probably actually be friends, call me***, k?

**j/k, it's nearly impossible to be friends with me

*** j/k, I never answer my phone