Thursday, July 12, 2012

There needs to be a word stronger than "sad"

Because I've been mired in depression for... oh, I don't know, it's been really bad for the last week or two and the only thing worse than feeling neck deep in sadness is expecting people to understand that I'm hyper-sensitive, sleeping all the time, crying all the time and more or less unable to participate in my own life because I'm "sad".

But that's honestly the only way I can describe it. I'm just needlessly and unreasonably sad.

And I'm taking my meds, I'm getting enough sleep, I'm cleaning the house, I'm exercising (when I'm capable of leaving the house), I've tried alienating everyone I like, I've tried listening to sad songs, I've tried listening to happy songs, I've tried eating chocolate, I've tried shopping (even at Ikea!!!! That's, like, my favorite place ever), I've even looked at depictions of dinosaurs humping and nothing helps at all.

I've dealt with depression my whole life, so it's not like it's something new to me, it's just that I want to reach out or explain it to people. It would be so much easier if it was a physical thing, like a gaping head wound or a bone sticking out of my arm.

Labels: first world problems, le crazy, pointless whining