Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Extremely Cool Social Media Dude: [extremely cool beer company] I work for is sponsoring a bike race next month and we're familiar with your embroidery and we want to pay for you to come out for it and be creative and have fun and post about it on social media. We're going drive around in a van and follow the race and have media passes and we'll pay for your food and the bar tab.

My Inner Voice: Did some dude legitimately just ask you to get into his van for a week and be creative?

Me: It's not like he's just some dude from Craigslist. He works for a beer company, he's got an email address from them and everything, it's completely legit. I'm picturing it as more Scooby Doo and less Cautionary Tale Later Translated into a Lifetime Movie.

My Inner Voice: Okay, but what fuck do you know about biking?

Me: I think when it's a week long it's called cycling

My Inner Voice: Okay, what the fuck do you know about cycling?

Me: That's Future Me's problem. He said they'd pay for food. And I'd get a media pass. I've never had a media pass before.

My Inner Voice: You don't like traveling, you don't like crowds.

Me: Again, these are issues that Future Me is going to have to deal with. All I'm seeing is a shiny invitation to sit with the cool kids for a week. I never get invited places.

My Inner Voice: Because you have the social skills of a foot stool.

Me: Foot stools are great, who doesn't love a foot stool?

My Inner Voice: This could end up as the worst thing ever.

Me: Sure, it could, but it might also end up just being mildly unpleasant. In any case, that's happening to Future Me, so... not my problem. And it guarantees to be less awful than the last time I was in Denver.

Me: Count me in!

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