Thursday, July 18, 2013

Albert Einstein once said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".

 Every single summer, cosmetics companies say to me "Hey, Pasty White Girl, you should try some self-tanner."

And I respond "No, thank you, I hate that stuff, it always smells like pee and makes my skin orange-y and streaked."

And they say "That was last year's product, this new product is SO DIFFERENT. No pee smell, no streaks, just a healthy glow! Technology! Natural stuff! Pleasant smell! Spray bottle that makes it impossible to mess up!"

And I say "Are you sure?"

And they say "Have we ever lied to you before? Seriously, try it."

And I say "Okay, here's my $10, give me a healthy skincolor!"

And then the next day, I look like an Oompa Loompa with a skin condition and walk around trying to figure out why I keep smelling urine.

Every. Single. Summer.

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