Tuesday, December 27, 2011
so it was well over a year ago since I last updated my 100 things (and I'm always looking for ways to procrastinate) so here's the new almost-2012 edition of 100 things1. I won't carry a purse unless it's big enough to hold my camera
2. I always have my camera with me
3. my favorite comfort food is mashed potatoes and brown gravy
4. I am terrified of spiders, cockroaches and sharks
5. I love taking pictures of creepy spiders
6. In spite of my paralyzing fear of sharks, I love the beach and the ocean
7. I'm more prone to wearing lip balm than lipstick
8. I hate greeting cards
9. I watch a lot of tv
10. I always have my iPod/iTunes on shuffle
11. Otis Redding is the only artist I never skip on shuffle
12. I prefer my eggs over-medium
13. Rye is my favorite type of bread
14. Raspberries are my favorite berry
15. I hate talking on the phone
16. I hate voicemails (seriously, send me a text)
17. I am insanely disorganized
18. I've been dyeing my hair since I was about 15
19. At least every couple years I try to dye my hair blond, but it always looks crappy on me
20. I like tattoos
21. I played roller derby for a couple of years and sometimes I miss it like crazy
22. I like the smells of rain, fresh cut grass and fabric softener
23. I like my bacon crispy
24. My eyes are officially hazel, but they are usually murky green color
25. I go out of my way to avoid contact with most people
26. My brain works at a different speed than my mouth and sometimes I forget words when I'm in the middle of a sentence
27. I have a very short temper
28. I drive a Prius, but I'm not one of those Prius driver-type people
29. I'm a Google junkie, I google everyone and everything
30. I don't like to lie, but this doesn't mean I always tell the whole truth
31. I rarely go out of my way to be friends with anyone
32. I love Doris Day/Rock Hudson movies
33. My favorite necklace is a tiny silver thing that says "Eat at Joes"
34. I sleep with my feet sticking out from under the covers
35. I always order iced tea at restaurants
36. I love cilantro
37. Thanksgiving is my favorite day to cook - it's like the Super Bowl of cooking to me
38. My favorite pizza toppings are pepperoni and black olives
39. My biggest pet peeve is when people use "your" when it should be "you're"
40. I can be a little persnickety about spelling and grammar
41. Usually I don't think before I speak
42. I am categorically unable to keep plants alive
43. I think "Midnight Train to Georgia" by Gladys Knight and the Pips is one of the best songs ever written
44. My favorite tv shows are "Psych", "Sons of Anarchy" and "Justified"
45. My current favorite painter is Jose Royo
46. I saw an exhibit of Royo paintings a few years ago in Vegas and almost cried because they were so beautiful
47. When I was a kid, I was obsessed with horses and the Smurfs
48. I like really dark coffee with real cream, evaporated milk or sweetened condensed milk
49. I wish I could speak a second language - preferably French or Italian
50. I have 2 dogs, 2 cat, 4 snakes, a bearded dragon and a kid
51. If I had the room, I'd love to have goats and chickens because I fell in love with them with I worked at the farm in Texas (go donate if you can, they need it, those animals insist on eating every single day)
52. "Hot Fuzz" is one of my favorite movies
53. "Valley Girl" is another
54. "Gladiator" is another
55. "An Affair to Remember" is another
56. I paint, embroider, write and take pictures
57. Photography is, at the same time, the easiest and most difficult of my artistic pursuits
58. I have a spectacular collection of knee socks from my derby days, but I usually hate having to wear anything other than flip flops
59. I'm always barefoot at home
60. I don't have a favorite color
61. I'm extremely nearsighted (but will never be seen in public in my glasses because they make me look like a bug)
62. I love mid-century modern architecture
63. I have had a problem with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember and have been working on finding the right cocktail of meds for the last couple of years
64. I have a degenerative disk thing in my back and have been working on finding the right cocktail of exercises, stretching and over-the-counter stuff, but there are still some days when I can barely walk
65. My wisdom teeth still haven't come in
66. I like giraffes and any other animal with long eyelashes
67. I can't draw
68. I like ridiculous people and things
69. ... tee hee, 69
70. I can be incredibly immature (see above)
71. I wish I knew how to knit or crochet
72. I started liking basketball because The Kid plays it
73. The Kid is the funniest person on the planet
74. My favorite basketball teams are the Lakers, the Clippers, the Celtics and whatever team The Kid is on
75. I find small towns charming
76. I make excellent cinnamon rolls and croissants
77. Being able to make croissants is one of my biggest achievements
78. I always use my turn signals, even when no one is around
79. I don't always drive the speed limit
80. I hate hate HATE being stuck in traffic
81. Punctuality is important to me
82. I'm sporadically lactose-intolerant
83. When I was a kid, I had aspirations of being a jockey and a lawyer (not at the same time, but how cool would that have been?)
84. I make my own pizza dough
85. My dad passed away in January of this year and it hits me at the weirdest times
86. I used to collect stickers like crazy when I was a kid
87. I drink a lot of water
88. I used to get really bad grades in handwriting when I was in elementary school
89. I've wanted to be a writer since I was in 2nd grade
90. I generally assume that everyone I meet is cooler than I am
91. I can never find the matching lids of my tupperware containers
92. I can be a very absent friend and, unless it's within two weeks of mine, I will forget your birthday
93. I don't understand the need of people to share every single mundane detail of their lives
94. I check my Facebook and Twitter maybe once a day to see if anyone has given birth or died
95. I do everything in my power to not read comments on the internet
96. I have an endless capacity for useless knowledge and like to share it
97. No one is still reading this
98. Flugelhorn
99. Seriously, no one
100. I've got a comeback for every situation, even if I don't think of it until an hour too late
Labels: just... why?
Monday, March 07, 2011
This just in -
I'm a total dork.that is all.
Labels: just... why?
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
reason #96 kajillion why the internet is AMAZING
Somehow, this evening, we got on the subject of something and somehow it was appropriate for me to bring up the fact that some company made a product that is basically a long plastic stick that obese people can use to wipe their butts.No one believed me and of course I couldn't remember the name of the product, so I googled "fat stick for butt wiping"* and in less than a second, Google gave me way more information than I will ever need about Comfort Wipe.
*do yourself a favor and do not read any further about that or even think about this product or its possible uses.
Labels: just... why?
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Hey, Oprah, I think I've found your replacement, this guy has completely figured out women!
I took the new dog to the vet today to make sure she's healthy, blah blah blah and, when I get home, I find my landlord watering the front yard.He asks how the new dog is working out and I tell him she's adjusting to us much better than we're adjusting to her, blah blah blah, she might still have too much puppy in her, blah blah blah, Baby Daddy and The Kid are spoiled by our other dog being older, mellow and not prone to stealing shoes and pens, blah blah blah, I'm super bummed about it because I think she's got potential to be an amazing dog, but I know she deserves a great home and, being young and purebred, I'm sure she'll be re-adopted quickly, blah blah blah...
Landlord interrupts me to explain how I need the new dog because Baby Daddy works all day and The Kid is older and doesn't need me as much, so I really either needed a new baby or a new dog, because that's just how women are and I should probably just issue an ultimatum that the dog stays or I get me a fertilized egg...
I didn't even... I couldn't even... I don't even... WHAT?
Labels: just... why?
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
License Plate O' The Day
So, way back, a billion years ago, when I livedThen I lived in Georgia and Texas and neither of those places had too many of those, and I hadn't seen any noteworthy ones here... until today.
I'm coming back from the grocery store and I find myself stuck at a stoplight behind some trashy car with a vanity plate that says:
BUSTY ONE
And, as though, that weren't the paragon of class, her license plate holder said "Bigger is always better"
I'm guessing she's... a sculptor?
Labels: just... why?
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Things I Have Learned This Week
- Having a keyboard on my phone allows me to conveniently use phrases like "flux capacitor" and "Siamese twin burlesque dancers" in text messages*.
- Asiago cheese bagels are delicious.
- homemade caramel candies are a pain in the butt to make, but stupidly delicious.
- I dreamed that I was pregnant, had a baby boy and insisted upon naming him "Lucius" - apparently, I have a subconscious desire for my kid to get his ass kicked on a regular basis.
- Debbie Reynolds is still alive and touring and, at 78-years-old, is one of the most adorable people in the world**.
*it happens more than you would think
** seriously, she was interviewed on my local news and I would do just about anything for her to adopt me
Labels: just... why?
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
5 Movies I Would Rather Watch Than a Movie About Facebook
- "Watching Grass Grow"
- "Seeing Someone Clean a Litterbox"
- "Keeping an Eye on a Pot of Water Coming to a Boil"
- "Observing a Window Cleaner Cleaning the Windows of a Three Story Building"
- "The Thought Process Behind Those Horrible Olive Garden Commercials"
Labels: just... why?
Saturday, September 18, 2010
why today is awesome:- 56 degrees at 3 in the afternoon - SWEATER WEATHER, bitches!!!!
- I sold my first print in my silly little etsy shop - I'm a paid photographer!!!!
- I had THE BEST grapefruit this morning
why today is not awesome:
- ugg boots - those things are just awful
Labels: just... why?
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
my mind is a scary place to be
so, I decide to vacuum the living room (because I can never get all the dog hair tumbleweeds when I sweep the laminate floor, and the wand thing lets me get into all the corners and stuff), but I couldn't find the wand attachment thing for the vacuum cleaner, so I decided to just use the hose thing.Halfway through the living room, holding onto the stretchy hose part, I think "hey, this is kind of like vacuuming with a flaccid penis", which... what? How would I know? And why would that thought even get in my head? Why couldn't I have thought "hey, this is kind of like vacuuming with an elephant trunk" or "hey, this is kind of like vacuuming with a bendy straw"?
Labels: just... why?
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
just because I was tired of having the phone post at the top of the page
The Kid was home sick from school today, but texted a friend after school to get his assignments - he was working on his math homework and found the following note folded up inside -here's the front (click to see it bigger):
and here's the inside (click to see it bigger):
so, I'm guessing from the spelling that "Weasal" isn't fond of English, either.
Also, rabbies... RABBIES
Labels: just... why?, letter to
Monday, August 16, 2010
Y'all, get out your monocles and kid gloves
Because August is National Win with Civility Month*.When we are civil to each other, we confirm our worth and acknowledge the worth of others. We can move in and out of all levels of society confident that we are always doing the “right thing.” We gain recognition for civility, and we secure the respect of our fellow human beings.
Even Ozzy the bearded dragon is into it.
*on that link, there's contact info for a guy "for info" - I would give a kidney to see the kind of emails he's gotten about this. Or to find out what kind of info he gives out, it's sort of self-explanatory, don't you think? Pretty much the only way it could be more transparent were if it were called National Don't Be An Asshole Month, amirite?
Labels: just... why?
Monday, July 26, 2010
5 completely useless facts about me
- when I'm nervous or feeling kind of unsure, I fidget, usually by cracking my knuckles or messing with my hair
- I call everyone "dude", especially when I'm trying to make a point
- when something is important to me, but I'm not entirely comfortable vocalizing that, I throw "kind of" in there (ie: "I kind of want to not move to Texas" or "I kind of like taking pictures")
- I don't have a favorite color or favorite meal, and my favorite of everything else changes periodically
- I have a freckle between the 2nd and 3rd toes on my right foot
Labels: just... why?
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
Hey!!!!
Labels: just... why?
Friday, May 28, 2010
well, I think it goes without saying...
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Labels: just... why?
Thursday, May 20, 2010
who wears short shorts?
some old guy with beef jerky-esque legs at Wal*Mart this morning, but unfortunately I wasn't quick enough with the camera to capture it - dammit.So here's a picture of my toes
Labels: just... why?