Wednesday, November 17, 2004

i hate *hate* when you're right there at that fragile threshold of sleep and the tiniest little noise screws it all up and you have to start all over again.

last night, i'm cuddled up under the covers, all toasty warm and finally able to shut down my obscenely overactive imagination and just seconds away from slumber when -

my greyhound (the dog, not the bus) suddenly springs up from her bed (an old comforter on the floor next to my side of the bed) and decides that she needs to rearrange her area to get comfortable - seriously, it took her about 10 minutes (of course, to me, trying to sleep, that ten minutes felt like a decade) and all i can hear for this ten minutes is her collar jangling and her skinny little legs scratching around at the comforter, i swear, i thought she was trying to do oragami - finally the dog settles down and falls to sleep immediately.

then i squish my pillow around and get comfortable again and am just about there when the husband shifts in bed and makes some ungodly sound, halfway between a snort and a snuffle - seriously, it sounded like a sound effect from fraggle rock or something.

i sigh and roll over, rearranging the sheets and finding another comfortable position and just about get there when i hear the cat jump onto the counter in the kitchen - so much for cat-like grace, he sounds like a baby water buffalo skittering around the house at night - it sounds like he's set up a foosball game with my spice jars (spice jars, not spice girls - the spice girls moved out well over a year ago) remind me to make as much noise as possible next time he curls up next to me on the couch in the middle of the day.

and finally, after the spice jar foosball world cup, i just know that there's not going to be silence and i can fall asleep (for at least the next two hours until the alarm goes off) and i'm so close to being there when suddenly, out of nowhere, i hear a mewling/cooing dove sound... and it came from me - for years, my husband has accused me of making this sound as i'm trying to fall asleep and for years i have refuted it because i've never heard it before - and now i've heard it - and now i'll never sleep again because i make weird bird calls in my sleep... because really, i don't have enough issues to deal with...

if this is my last post of the day, it's because i'll be getting fitted for my orange jumpsuit because i'm running away to join the carnival