Friday, March 11, 2005

this title has nothing to do with the post

You know, you hardly ever see any tall old people, and it troubles me, because I'm tall and tall people are obviously superior to shorter people (that's why we let you shorties look up our noses) - so what happens to all the vertically advantaged people?

Sure, some of them don't get enough calcium and shrink with age like an old peach, but that can't account for more than 17%* of formerly tall people

And maybe another 9% die from head wounds they incur while getting into their golf carts

But where are the rest of them?

It worries me.

Are they being systematically rubbed out by short people, tired of looking up into their noses?

Do they die faster because they are closer to heaven and obviously favored by the gods?

It's at a point where I get excited whenever I see a tall old lady and I go up and hug her and tell her to keep on keepin' on - then we do the super secret tall girl handshake and go our separate ways.

True story

*statistic extracted directly from my butt

5 comment(s):

  • Exact quote from my Developmental Psych book:
    "Most older people are shorter than they were in early adulthood, because the vertebrae begin settling closer together in middle age."
    Remember how mom used to be 5'7"? Yeah, she's lucky if she's 5'5" now.

    By Blogger jootastic, at 8:12 AM  

  • crap - I'm going to start sleeping on a stretching rack

    By Blogger C-8, at 8:35 AM  

  • Fuck, I'm tall!


    By Blogger Martin, at 3:58 PM  

  • Well, shit. Well, If jootastic is right, and I'll only lose 2 inches, I guess I can live with being a 5'9" old lady. I do love saying 5'11" though....

    By Blogger Samantha, at 11:29 PM  

  • Maybe I have a reason to be glad I'm only 5'5". I've always wanted to be 5'8" but certainly not if it shortens my lifespan.

    By Blogger LuckySpinster, at 1:19 PM  

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